David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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