Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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