Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
