just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize