That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
