I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
