Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
