Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
