she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
