i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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