Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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