He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
