Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
