I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize