Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm passing your future prison.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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