hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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