Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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