just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
