Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Less talking, more tequila
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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