I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
