you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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