false alarm. still invincible.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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