I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
