Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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(708): View more from Illinois

Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.

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(863): View more from Florida

We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

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(903): View more from Texas

Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.

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(530): View more from California

I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"

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