Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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