I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
