dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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