Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
