I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
