having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
