I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
