just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
