whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
