Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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