Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
