is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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