I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize