You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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