its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
