My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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