Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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