another moral hangover. fuck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
