There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
