Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize