My brain says no but my pants say off.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
