she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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