Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
