I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
