He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
