hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just invented taco cereal.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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