but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i think i just lost a toe
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
