on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
