considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
