is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
