i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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