How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
