I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
