He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
