those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
