HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
