just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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