Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
