I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So vagazzling was a success
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
