Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
