pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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