You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
